In the beginning of the program I felt an overwhelming sense of I CAN NOT DO THIS each work week. The job seemed like it would be too much and I wouldn't be beneficial to the kids that had been put into my charge. Fast forward a year and I'm sitting in the principal's office going over my final evaluation and she's telling me what a wonderful job I've done, despite all the challenges faced.
I didn't meet every goal as well as I would have wanted to, but the most significant thing I walk away with from Servant Year and my time at St James school is that GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES. This meaning that where God puts you is where you are meant to be. I was reminded by my fiance about the story of Gideon and how he tested God and wanted to verify that he was indeed selected to lead an army to victory, even though he felt he was not qualified for the job. We see in this story that God was with him every step of the way and equipped him to do the job he had assigned.
In the last couple months the word EQUIPPED has been something that has stood out to me as a lesson in my time here. Even though I felt inadequate and unworthy of my position, the Lord saw it fit to place me among people and give me strengths that would equip me to accomplish that which was assigned. This was a great lesson of faith to me and finally brought about understanding of how much love and favor God gives us. He does not give us this just so we can be prosperous, but for his glory in the world.
We all know nothing is more astonishing or awe-inspiring than a story of someone thought to be a muddy rock, that with time turned into a shining diamond. This is what God does for us; he turns dust, mud, dirt, grime into beautiful things in order for others who feel unworthy to look upon this new beautiful thing and think I wonder if he can do the same for me. The truth is yes he can, and if my life and work at St James and with Servant Year is any indication, he will.
For me it was the wonderful people of St James who helped every step of the way and taught me so much about what it means to truly care for youth. It was the Servant Year peers and leaders who always had an uplifting word to say about me and the work we each were doing. It was the people of Philadelphia so vibrant,colorful,loving,and open despite outside views. It was my loving fiance Bella, so supportive and cheering me on through all the ups and downs, and lastly God being with me. His persistence- being ever present through the curve balls and triumphs life threw at me this year, cheering at me getting things right, and comforting me when I missed the mark.
So even though I am still not sure if I was the best for the position I was given, I am coming away with three things from this year. I AM EQUIPPED FOR WHAT IS TO COME AND WHAT IS ASSIGNED. I AM THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN DO WHAT HAS BEEN ASSIGNED TO ME DESPITE HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT. GOD WILL NEVER BRING ME TO A PLACE WITHOUT SUPPLYING ME WITH WHAT IS NEEDED TO ACCOMPLISH THE GOALS SET. I urge future Servant Year folks to remember that.
You are where you are because you have been given the means to do what is given. God does not make mistakes, instead he makes beautiful things out of that which was thought to be ugly. Thank you all for being a part of my experience, and thank you all for being so supportive of me. I owe a great debt to my Servant Year and St James families. I will carry this experience through my missions work and life forever.
Freddie's Ministry Placement was at St. James School as a Teaching Assistant.